Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Craigslist [True] Tales: Part I BlogEpisode I - ACT III: Madonna and Jesus

Ubi solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant.
...there are no tribes beyond us, nothing indeed but waves and rocks, and the yet more terrible Romans, from whose oppression escape is vainly sought by obedience and submission. Robbers of the world, having by their universal plunder exhausted the land, they rifle the deep. If the enemy be rich, they are rapacious; if he be poor, they lust for dominion; neither the east nor the west has been able to satisfy them. Alone among men they covet with equal eagerness poverty and riches. To robbery, slaughter, plunder, they give the lying name of empire; they sow desolation, and they call it peace.
Caledonian general Calgacus
before the Battle of Mons Graupius
in Tacitus,
The Life of Cnæus Julius Agricola
From Wikipedia

Dimmu Borgir performing 'Progenies of the Great Apocalypse' live at Golden gods 2007.

I started to feel uncomfortable so I said to [this] Dante

John Manuel[JM]:Look this is only getting too far, I grant that you look like Dante, and that you speak with that Italian accented English, and it is also granted that your costume appears to be exactly as the "bathrobe" that Dante wore or something like that...
Dante[D]: Bathrobe! Bathrobe! "é Molto simpatico." You got to be kidding...
JM: Nope, It is a matter of fact, I getting very serious about it, your custom looks like a bathrobe to me... "Victoria Secret?"
... After some expletives...Dante responded
D: "Andiamo Presto" and looking at me, he added "... and you are not wet because the raining has stopped..."
JM: You must be out of your mind!, do you remember just minutes before when you approached me, it was absolutely raining the hell out of all New York City.
D: ...Yeahhh! that's right, but you are not wet now, Correct?

Suddenly, I looked at myself... my cloth, "what a wonderful world" I thought. I was completely dry and smelling like spring flowers. However, from that instant, it was the moment on which I started to listen very carefully to "Dante" and to respect a little more what not too long ago was simply a joking situation. I started to listen the words of that refined Italian crazy man more attentively then....

Dante looked at me and said,
D: “Can you feel it?”
JM: "What, what?"
I replied using many gestures at once, I didn't know what face to make out of what I was experiencing.... I wanted to leave this guy alone, but it was too dark and strange as some street lights were reflecting the pavements and grass in a very rare way to me. The deep darkness was so intense that I felt that I needed to continue following whatever the path of this man was...

There was silence, and Dante stopped a few blocks inside the park looking in the direction of the Lincoln center, and told me,
D: “Soon you are going to see Jesus and Madonna,”

After Dante uttered these names, I laugh of such absurd idea, so I responded laughing,
JM: “Sure... I thought we were going to hell with your friend Virgilio... Do you remember Inferno? you know fire, don't you? je je” -- Dante with his head looking deep into the ground, and with a grave voice responded,
D: "Yes, we arrrre!"
JM: “But Dante, come on now! Jesus needs to be in heavens for God's sake, together with his mom Virgin Mary"
D: “Just look up there!”
While saying this he pointed out to a place, at some distance, perhaps near to one of those entrances to the park from the streets,
JM: "What!", I asked him sardonically, "the Trump Tower?"
Then I saw what appeared to be an immense colorful and grotesque bonny jumping all the way in the darkness... I said:
JM: "Dammed!, Whatttt that hell is that?! It is quite awful. isn't it? -- Dante rather quickly and changing the tone of his voice as asking me his answer stated,
D: “That is Madonna and Jesus Jumping and fondling their own way to hell...”
JM: “No....! nope!! You meant Madonna, nooo! Oh My God! your right, yeah I can see her know, but why in the hell she is using that ugly dress and why she is kissing that teenager for?”
D: “Well the boy is just 28 years younger than Madonna; he is from Brazil, a hot place almost like hell, and his name is Jesus. He is a model and, his last name is "Luz", a shorty for Lucifer. He is an adult no a teenager though, he is 22 years old.”
JM: "Nope, Nope, Holy “El Guacamole”, this is rediculous ... ludicrous..."
D: That is right! now, tell me, did you have any doubt that you are really in Hell?
I responded with my mouth wide open, while Dante was showing me on his iPhone this video from YouTube:

JM: “Nooope, that sucks and it is so retarded, look she evenly is wearing horns there, for God's sake. We are definitively in hell”

I could not stop my train of thought so I told Dante,
JM: “AH! I get it, so I understand now, you dressed like this because you are a “fashionista” and a paparazzi, Don't you? They know you, so you want to take pictures of these extravagant, rich and crazy people, that is all, and you want me to do it for you ... Dante il pparazzi, don't you?" --Dante looked again to the floor and emphasized
D: John, Drop it -- When I heard him pronouncing my name, I felt completely paralyzed; how he knew my name? I didn't tell him...
JM: “Wait a minute now. What did you just say?
D: “I said, John, drop it!
JM: “How you know my name? You are a stalker!”
D: “Nope, I don't I am Dante, and you have been chosen...
JM: “Look all this is getting weird. Glad to meet you Dante, See you around one day. OK?”
D: “OK, if you want to be left alone, I will leave you alone here, and for the entire eternity” -- I moved my head around and I saw only shadows of weird people getting into the park, as the conspicuous fluorescence of Madonna's custom and her horns felt as if they were all over me. She really, really seemed too scary that, I decided and preferred to stay with Dante and suffer all the consequences no matter what,
D:”Good! I see you are trembling, man, come on, remember, it will be not you first time in hell, you have been living in this city for so long now...”
JM: “OK, what did you mean when you stated that I have been chosen...?”
D: “Wait, tell me....are you writing the Graigslist [True] Tales?
JM: “Yes, as we are speaking now” but I was inspired in the Canterbury Tales of Boccaccio and, you are impersonating Dante, anyway and again, how do you know all this?
D:“Let me ask you first, John, what is Dante's Opus Maximum?”
JM: “Well the Divine Comedy.” -- I responded 100% sure about it then he shouted at me:
D: “Wrong!” -- Disbelieving what I was hearing, I responded very emphatically,
JM: “Everybody knows Dante for one thing and for one thing more that anything else, and that is: For his description of the inferno, written by him, in his Divine Comedy!”
D: “Wrong, I titled my book only the "Comedy", Boccaccio did add the adjective of "Divine" to it"
JM: “Upps.... it is ludicrously possible, because he was inspired by Dante's writings so much, especially in his "Divine Comedy”
D: "Can you see?"
JM : “Well, OK there is this remote, little, tiny connection there, between Dante and Boccaccio and so with my Graigslist [True] Tales.”
D: “Wrong again, there is a lot of connections, too many and all so very important” -- Getting, a little exasperated for my lack of understanding and because all the walking, I was getting very warm and sweaty, I asked Dante
JM: "Why?! Why are there so many connections?!" -- When Dante heard my question, for the first time showed me his deep eyes by looking at my face but in a panoramic way, I had never seen eyes like that, and told me ...
It will continue.....


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